Gavin's new years post

Gavin (and the rest of us) would like to wish everyone a great happy new year.... and we look forward in 2011 to seeing the ball drop, Dean-o's birthday, and maybe an answer to where we will be settling down at.
Gavin would also like to share a few 'look back @ 2010' pics with everyone.

Here are the gourds that I grew:

Dean-o and Lily getting along:

Grandma Chris came for another visit:

Lily continues with her ballet:

Momma did her very first triathlon and learned a few lessons

(like always wear your sunscreen):

Lots of excitement for my baby brother:

This year we also lost our Grammy:

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Family games

Dear Santa 2010

I especially love the part where Gavin writes how he, "would not like underware". LOL, he tells me that Santa brings him underware every single year. I have a feeling that this year there will be less underware, but more pairs of gloves and socks.. hehehe

Flag Ceremony

Lilys 2nd year of Ballet (Christmas)

Here is the post I know all of you have been looking forward to-- Lily's 2nd year of ballet Christmas performance. With little sleep since learning of my moms passing, and knowing that I was flying out to California the next day at 5am, this was a really hard time. However, Lily is a ballet natural, and blows me away when she is on stage! I just love watching her and the other girls at their class when they are stretching or learning 'on the bar'. It is so amazing how a 4 year old can fill your heart with so much joy during such a difficult time.

Here is the great ballerina and me before the big show:

Of course we have some 'pre show' pictures. Lily still has length-disabled hair, so it is a challenge to get her into costume with hair that matches the other girls.

She is so beautiful!


(and she knows it!)


Here is her performance. Lily is in the back row. I cannot say just how impressed and happy I am for her!

Dean loves my Jeep

Thursday and Friday before I left for California so much was going on. Lily was getting ready for her ballet recital, the Jeep needed new tires (as well as alignment, something with the axles yadda, yadda--read $$$).

In light of these terrible stresses and financial woes (more than we expected for the Jeep, unexpected plane ticket, again with the yadda - yadda of extra stuff that was going on at this time) when we dropped off the Jeep, sweet Dean was devastated. I mean absurdly upset over the fact that he had to ride in Daddy's car. He wanted Mama's Jeep!

Translation: "I wanna drive my Jeep!"
Anyway, I thought that was a funny story in the middle of lots of chaos.

So not ready

I am not ready yet. Not for happy postings or for Christmas parties. I am just not there. Yes, my mom had health issues off and on for a very long time, but that did not prepare me for her death at the age of 55. I am sad, and I am mad, and I burst into tears at the most random times. I also can hold it together for long stretches of time. I can shop for groceries and get my kiddos ready for their day, but that does not mean that things are ok yet.

'Guardian angel, heavenly friend,

walk with me 'til the journey's end'.

sad news

My mom passed away. I got the news this morning. I will be flying out to California on Saturday morning after Lily's ballet recital.
I really don't know what to say and I am not ready to make a "Facebook announcement", but I know that those people who are close to me will read this. I love her and hope that she is finally at peace.